The Battle for Batts: The Greatest Trade Saga in FB History

The sun shone brightly down onto a reflective pool of water. A fishing pole cracked as it gently hit the water. Lawson Batts was enjoying his offseason at a remote Washington getaway aptly known as “Fish Lake.” Normally, it was his time of the year to relax away from being the Kure Shimakaze’s Ace, but before his trip, he had heard rumors of his name being in trade talks. However, he had mostly gotten away from those thoughts and began to drift away from the hectic reality waiting for him back home.

Then the phone rang.

Batts lazily reached for his phone in his lawn chair cup holder.

“Batty. You just got traded.”

Batts sat up. It was Akiko Ogasawara, the general manager of Shimakaze. “Wh-What? To who?”

Ogasawara paused. “Let me just send you the details.”

Batts got another notification. He stared but didn’t see it. He did a double take. The more he read who he was dealt for, the more his mouth opened in shock.

Lawson Batts was Akiko Ogasawara’s biggest free agent acquisition in her tenth year of managing the rebooted Kure Shimakaze. A price tag of $30 million led Akiko to hang on to her prized jewel, matching her very chaste lifestyle. Two stellar seasons for the now 26-year old ace led to other teams taking notice. Batts was a rare combination of a pitcher that threw nasty stuff but had Rembrandt control, a highly sought after commodity that Akiko understandably held close.

Then, on November 27, 2022, Akiko was approached by Joe, GM of the Anchorage Aces, if Batts and his co-star Dean Kemper were on the trading block. Understandably, Akiko refused to entertain such an offer, but then Joe showed her the offer sheet. A skeptical Akiko read the sheet, and had to do a double take. Then a triple take. She pulled the Aces’ GM aside to a secluded hallway.

“Add Darin Ellsworth and Suelita Montano and we have a deal.” Joe nodded. Batts and Kemper were officially on the trade block.

In addition to Ellsworth and Montano, two highly-touted outfielders, Aces was offering two aces in Silverio Rosario and Rohan Prince as well as reliever Fausto Santacruz. A 5-for-2 deal isn’t unheard of but rare. Akiko thought that was the end of that, but as it turns out, that secluded hallway was not as secret as she thought.

The eccentric Kurtis Roach, former player and now current owner of the San Diego Giants eavesdropped on their conversation and happened to watch the conversation between Aces and Shimakaze unnoticed. As soon as Akiko got home, she received a message from Kurt via her work computer that read: “Toro, Kunkel, Bradshaw, and Lowell, and your choice of Moss or Artis for Batts. WYT?” Akiko let out an audible “HAH?!” Toro, Kunkel, and Lowell were also ace pitchers with track records, while Artis and Moss were highly-touted shortstop prospects. A deal not involving Kemper also was convincing her. She instantly messaged back, “I’ll consider it, but Aces needs to know as well.” It turns out that Aces wasn’t the only one else that needed to know.

It turns out the conversation in the hallway was right outside the door of the GM for Oakland ObZen. When Akiko attempted to find Aces in her inbox, she got yet another ping.

“ObZen: Heard Batts was on the block. I’ll give you Sheets, Diaz, Norwood, Levesque, Badillo, and Carrington for Batts. How bout it?”

Akiko felt dizzy. She hadn’t gotten this many offers since she was getting love letters back in school. She sighed and accepted ObZen on the trade list.

What happened next could only be described as The Battle for Batts. She began sending all three potential offers from each teams to attempt to make sense of the whole ordeal. Kurt struck first by raising the bar with RF Amoldo Saldana. ObZen then struck back by adding 1B Agustin Nicholson and P Trey Lightfoot. Aces, confident in his deal, added throw-ins with 3B Zeke Murray and P Braeden Haight.

Then rumors began to spread that St. John’s Deadly Sins was going to join in on the mayhem. Giants once again struck first, adding in his affiliated Crushers’ superstar 3B Reynardo Garay. ObZen then retaliated by replacing Lightfoot with his own ace in Harold Nevarez, Afterwards, Giants finally decided to pull his trump card, replacing Toro with probably the best pitcher involved: Vicente Andrade. Akiko was nearly swayed by such an offer, but at the last moment, Anchorage Aces swept in and added in superstar slugger SS Rohan Stoddard and yet another ace in Johnny Parrott. With the deal from Deadly Sins never materializing, Akiko made her choice on November 28th.

Lawson Batts was going to Anchorage.

Ultimately, a staggering 9-for-2 deal was made, with competitive offers involving a 7-for-1 and 8-for-1 trade. Akiko congratulated all three GM’s for creating the greatest trade sweepstakes in Franchise Ball history. She sighed back in her chair, blowing her hair. She felt young again, though knew she had to make a phone call.

Final Trade Offers:Here